Update: After the ET

No, this blog post is not about my life after I watched ET the Extra Terrestrial, which, by the way, scarred me for life.  This blog post is about how life's been going after I decided to Early Terminate my service from the Peace Corps.

My dad happened to visit my blog and noticed I had never updated after I moved back to Colorado.  When I was trying to decide whether I would stay in Malawi or Early Terminate, I searched google when I was able to access electricity and spotty Internet in the city for "Peace Corps Early Termination" and scoured every blog post I could find. It seemed the people who wrote those posts were either debating, but ultimately deciding to stick with their PC service or were missing significant others back home and ended up content to move back and move on with their lives.

Well, neither of those described me.  I didn't have a special someone waiting for me back in the US, and I didn't want to live with staying in Malawi and engaging in an overwhelming daily emotional struggle just to function- though I was headed far from functional by the point I decided enough was enough.

I know I would have loved to hear this sincerely and with my best interests at heart during my struggle: If it feels like that's what you need to do, call it done and take a hike back to the U.S. of A.! (Besides from my family, of course!)

10 months later, and I'm doing incredible.  I'm teaching middle school science and english language development in a brand new building and that has its own set of struggles- ones that I am willing and able to cope with!  I love being back and being able to see my family whenever I want.  I love that I don't have to worry about harassment (okay, so those middle schoolers can sometimes be quite the hecklers!) or depression or just being scared to leave my bed in the morning.  I learn new things every day and grow through the manageable obstacles that come with being a teacher new to the system.  I could go on for pages and pages but I'll stop there.  I know that I was so scared that nobody would want to hire me, that someone would look at me as not being good enough or damaged because I didn't want to complete my service.  I even heard it often when I was in Malawi.  If you E.T. you'll be a quitter!  Since moving back, I've encountered quite the opposite and I love sharing stories of the time I had and the awesome friends I made.

My parents recently saw an article about the Peace Corps and noted that it was overwhelmingly positive.  I might call it naive. I think the PC is painted with a brush of romanticism and the emotional and mental health issues volunteers face aren't addressed in a way that is appropriate for the time period we live in.  I would have loved to feel like my concerns weren't being swept under the rug so that the organization could keep up their appearances.  On the other hand, I know many of my friends I made there are having the absolute best time of their lives and wouldn't leave for the world.  I think it's amazing that they are able to share in the joy that should come from giving your time and effort selflessly as a PCV.

For better or (occasionally) worse, I know that the PC and Malawi changed my life, even in the small time I spent there.  I can cope and put issues in perspective.  I don't dwell on the little things, or even many of the challenges that Americans might think of as "big things".  I know that I am incredibly lucky to have been born in a land of plenty and I cannot take these conveniences I love so much for granted anymore.

I wouldn't change either of the decisions I made regarding my PC service.
I'm appreciative I accepted my invitation to go to Malawi...
But I'm most grateful that I mustered up the courage to walk into the PC Malawi office with my cat and my eyes full of tears to tell them I needed to go home.

I belong right where I'm at, and I'm so lucky to have had the opportunities I've had.  Life is awesome, no matter what you do, as long as you are truly happy!  :)

From snowy Colorado with lots of love,

Emma

Exhibit A: A high-functioning member of U.S. society with some awesome stories to tell!

Exhibit B: A fat cat whose assimilation to the United States is going pretty well :)

Back to the Good Old U.S. of A

Many of my family members already know I've been struggling for a while with my service in Malawi.  This experience has taught me that I love teaching.  It's opened my eyes to another way of life that I couldn't have begun to dream of before.  PC has done so many things for me!  I've really appreciated being given this opportunity to live and work in Malawi.

Sometimes, when the excitement wears off and you're alone in your house with no electricity, running water, and little to no ability to communicate with those back home, the overwhelming stress of living in a foreign, developing nation is overwhelming.  For a while now, the bad has outweighed the good, and I've made the official decision I know is best for me mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I'm early terminating and going home.  More specifically, within the next few days.

I would like to update this blog when I return and my experiences aren't quite as raw!  So until further notice, see you later, and wish me safe travels!

Oh, yeah. Cammie's coming back with me, too!

Still here in Malawi...

We're reaching the end of October. I'm now halfway through the first term of teaching at Chisugulu CDSS. I'm still here! I think integrating into a new culture and the entire PC experience comes easy to some people. I think others have some difficulties, but somehow manage to deal with them as they come. Living in a rural village in southern Malawi has definitely not come easy to me! It's insane to realize how much you depend on certain things in the United States or in developed countries. I don't have electricity at my house or school. I walk half an hour along the road to get to school everyday. I bathe using an incredibly small bucket of water! When I want to go to a major market to get anything, I wait up to two hours for a minivan that's filled with 25 people on a good day and then travel another two hours to go 40 kilometers. I'm surrounded by an entire community of Malawians, and I see my students 4-5 days a week. Even then, I still get lonely! (Though I have adopted a kitten this last month and she's been an amazing companion. I fear I may be reaching crazy cat lady- adoration levels. Stay tuned for that transformation..) This experience is incredible in that I've been able to push myself farther than I thought possible and still be a moderately functioning member of society. :) I can't believe it but I've been in Malawi for about five months now. I'm nearing two months in my village, Mwanga. Time here passes so incredibly slowly on a daily basis and faster than I could have possibly realized overall! I'm so grateful those back home have supported me through the journey so far. I know that without that, I wouldn't still be here today! Until next time...

Why? Why is it so hot here?! -Camomile, the newest edition to my family

I'm alive, I promise...!

This post is long overdue! If you were wondering, yes, I'm still alive and in Malawi and now I'm a sworn in Peace Corps Volunteer! I promised myself when I left America that I would make an effort to keep everyone updated- obviously, that didn't work out as well as I thought it would! :) I will say that if anyone wants to hear from me more often I more regularly check my email and I'm on whatsapp regularly. I've been in Malawi for about three and a half months now. From the end of June to the 28th of August, I was staying in Chinkhombwe village, about 10 km outside of the Kasungu Boma (main market). During this training time, my host family was an older couple who helped me adjust to life in a village and introduced me to the nuances of Malawian culture. Training was a crazy an intense time. I had classes in culture, language, and technical skills that would help me adjust to life here. I was able to make some great friends and became close to many people in my Malawi education 2014 cohort! (For more details on just how familiar everyone has become, check out Devyn Lee's blog posts- the one titled "Diarrhea Diaries" may give you a glimpse of that... Also, she's just really good about updating her blog ha! :)). Many PC volunteers told me Pre Service Training would be the hardest part of my service- and they were right in a sense that I was fresh from America, vulnerable, and being constantly bombarded with information. I worked hard during PST and definitely put in a lot of effort- I feel more comfortable in the classroom, dealing with cultural differences, and to an extent with the Chichewa language (I got Advanced Mid on my final language proficiency interview!). During that time, however, I had the comfort of my education group to support me and help ease the transition. At the end of August, after swearing in as a PC Volunteer, I moved to a very small village called Mwanga. On a map, Blantyre, Zomba, and Phalombe create a triangle and I'm close to a major crossroads on the road between Zomba and Phalombe. I am the first PC volunteer in my area and the only PCV in the district of Phalombe. I teach at Chisugulu Community Day Secondary School; this term I'm teaching Form 1 physical science and life skills (essentially like a health class) and Form 3 biology and life skills. I work at the school teaching classes Monday through Thursday. My site is a little unusual for an education volunteer in that I do not have electricity at my house or at my school. Solar charging has been my friend and I'm glad right now it's the beginning of hot season- I'm not sure what I'll do when rainy season comes! Internet at my site is sporadic and never good enough to do more than whatsapp family and friends, but I'm eternally grateful I'm able to do that. When we were in PST we received a chart with the emotions a PCV faces during service- the first three months were a deep ditch. And jeeze- that chart is eerily accurate. This first month at site has been incredibly challenging. If it weren't for the friends I've made here and the incredible support I've had from back home, I honestly don't think I would still be in Malawi. I've never in my life felt such a huge rush of conflicting emotions and conflict. I won't dwell on anything in this post, but if you talk to my family you'll get a better picture! As time goes on, I'm growing and changing in ways I couldn't have fathomed before.  The PC is an experience that is different for every volunteer and all I can say is that it's unlike anything I've ever felt and this entire experience is a challenge I don't think could ever be replicated.

Hello from Malawi!

~Moni~!

It's been a weeks since I left Colorado and I've been outside of Lilongwe since Tuesday.  We've been staying at the Malawian Institute of Management which has been more like a summer camp than being in what I imagined Malawi to be.  First impressions off the plane- the topography was eerily similar to the desert between Bakersfield and Taft.  Although I was jet lagged from the 15 hour flight from NYC to Johannesburg and the 2 hour flight from Johannesburg to Lilongwe, those first few glimpses of the topography and the mob of people waiting outside the airport totally overwhelmed me.  It took a few days to really even feel like the whole situation was real!

The area surrounding the Malawi Institute of Management

I’ve been learning some basics about what to expect these next couple of years and have really been happy to meet everyone.  Today I found out that I’m going to be learning Chichewa, a language that is spoken throughout central and southern Malawi.  It doesn’t give me anything specific about where my permanent site will be, but I’ll be finding that out on July 11th.

Tomorrow we’re moving to Kasungu and meeting the host families we’ll be staying with over the next few months.  We’re also going to be going to a market in Lilongwe to get some supplies.  Most important on my list: a pee bucket for nighttime, toilet paper :) , and a few chitenje (cloth wrapped around for a casual skirt).  As of tomorrow, I won’t have any electricity, running water, and minuscule to no access to internet, so I will talk to everyone in ten weeks with lots of pictures and amusing anecdotes, I suspect!  I miss and love everyone back home!  Talk to you soon and ~tiwonana~!  

An Introduction to my Peace Corps Journey

I've recently been told there isn't any point to having a blog if I don't post anything on it, so here goes nothing I suppose!

For those that are not intimately acquainted with me: Hi, I'm Emma. :)  I currently live in Colorado with my parents and sisters.  I will soon be leaving for Malawi, the "Warm Heart of Africa", to begin my Peace Corps service as a secondary school biology and science teacher.

When I turned in my first application for Peace Corps volunteer service in June of 2012, volunteering as a PC teacher was only a hazy idea.  I remember thinking to myself, Well, if all else fails maybe this will work out... At the time, I was interested in the Peace Corps, but not overly concerned, and eventually my application went dormant.

In between two years ago and now, many things have changed.  I switched states and schools, graduated from the University of Colorado at Denver, and have spent invaluable time with my family.  About a year ago, I decided what I really wanted after graduation was the chance to have an adventure and help in a community overseas.  I resubmitted my application for volunteer service and went to an interview to determine if I had a future in the Peace Corps.  In June of 2013, I was nominated for the education sector of the PC.  Last fall, in between classes and exams, the pressure started building.  I was in my last semester of college, was ready to graduate, hadn't heard anything from the PC and was constantly stressed about what I was supposed to do!  I finally heard from the placement office in late December with a questionnaire on math and science teaching.  That's when it really clicked- answering all those questions on teaching biology and foreign living made me incredibly excited to be apart of something bigger, an adventure I could barely imagine!

Two agonizing months later, I got it- my invitation to teach in Malawi beginning mid-June of 2014!  I've read other blogs and books on receiving an invitation, but I must say, nothing comes close to the real deal.  Who knew you can feel blind panic, hopeful excitement, and a creeping feeling of numbness all at the same time??  I was tentative and hesitant to get too excited at first.  I had only a vague recollection of where Malawi was in Africa and hadn't read much on the country previously.  Have you ever seen Malawi on a map?  It's hard to miss, it's just so tiny!  I spent a few days of in-depth research and decided this felt like the right fit for me.  I accepted my invitation and began the laborious process of getting medically cleared.  Many visits to doctor's offices later, I submitted all my paperwork and was medically cleared.

It's now the middle of May, and that infamous Departure Date is creeping ever closer.  This morning I had a conference call with PC Malawi staff, which stirred mixed emotions.  At this point, I can't imagine doing anything but volunteering with the Peace Corps in Malawi, but I'm more than just a bit freaked out.  I'm exhilarated to be leaving so soon for a new community in Africa.  I'm also a bit melancholy that I'll have to leave family and friends here in the United States.  Most of all, I'm just anxious to begin this new adventure.  Who knows how this will all turn out, but I hope that the next two years are filled with incredible experiences in the Warm Heart of Africa. :)

I'm not exactly the most technically advanced human being on this planet and I certainly have a problem remembering to update things, but I certainly hope I can continue this blog and share my experiences, triumphs, and failures throughout this next period in my life!  In the meantime, wish me luck as I prepare for this journey!


For those that are interested, here's an approximate timeline of my application/nomination/invitation:
(a staple of the blogs I poured over in the months between nomination and invitation)

June 7th, 2012: Submitted first application with an availability date of Dec. 2013.  Since I submitted this application more than a year before my start date, the PC office in Los Angeles put my application in a dormant status.
Fall of 2012: Peace Corps undergoes a complete system change, I receive notification that to be considered for service, I have to resubmit my application as the old one is lost
Late December 2012: I begin a second application right after I move to Colorado but am unsure of whether I want to sign up for the Peace Corps and never complete it.
May 7th, 2013: Complete and submit application for Peace Corps.  I didn't ask for any specific regions and had no restrictions in where I wanted to serve.
Late May of 2013: Scheduled and completed an interview with a former PC volunteer who was now doing recruiting and interview sessions.
Early June of 2013: Received nomination for education sector, specifically science, with an approximate June 2014 departure.  At this time, PC wasn't giving out specifics with nominations and my nomination included only this and no region.
Early-Mid July of 2013: I was legally and medically pre-cleared.
July-December of 2013: Absolute, horrible silence.
December 26, 2013: email from placement desk with a request for final transcripts and a math and science questionnaire to be completed ASAP.
December 26, 2013 (approximately 3-4 hours later): emailed placement back with completed questionnaire.
January 28, 2014: Invitation (finally!) to Malawi as a Biology and science teaching volunteer!
January 29, 2014: accepted invitation and received a handful of emails on the next steps for new invitees- more specifically, the instructions for medical and legal clearance.
Early April of 2014: I was medically cleared and had completed most of the paperwork
June 16, 2014 (anticipated): Departure for staging and off to Pre-Service Training in Malawi!

Info about my invitation:
(dates are approximate)
Staging: June 16-17, 2014
Pre-Service Training: June 18- August 28, 2014
Service: August 29, 2014-August 28, 2016